Thursday, December 26, 2013

Emily discussing Life issues

Hi, my name is Emily and this is my story. Hope you accept and understand me for who I am. I am not afraid to admit that I am male to female transgender. I knew since I was 4 years old and I am now facing many obstacles and our family is very concerned for our son Matty who is really struggling and will be in a hospital setting for quite some time and then will be attending a residential school so we all have to readjust to this most difficult situation but we feel this is what we have to do to hopefully get him back on track. We love our son so very much and it is so very painful for us. I also am trying to cope as best I can with my personal struggle and also advocate for our son as best I can. He is our son and we love him, accept him for who he is and are trying to get him the help he truly needs.

                                                                Matty and Dad
                                                                   Matty and Dad
                                                                   Matty and Dad
                                                                    Matty and Dad

Matty and Dad 

Matty, Mommy and Dad

lf I can understand and accept myself and just be Emily I will feel much better as I am going through multiple struggles that are literally wearing me down and also breaking my heart. We as a family now are living apart from our son. He needs intensive help but we miss him so much and the reality of not having him in our day to day life is really messing my wife and I up even though I am happy as Emily. Realistically, I can never be happy if my son continues to struggle and I am no doctor so there is very little I can do at this point other than what I have always been doing which is to love my son and be there for him as best I can as his "dad" even if I am Emily. My son loves and accepts me and I love and accept my son unconditionally and so does my wife. We are coping as best we can under these stressful circumstances.

                                            Emily on the birth of our son on December 8, 1998

I am very emotional here talking about my son

Everything about me!

The day that deeply impacted my son in a very severe and awful way. He was only 3 years old and witnessed this all unfold with his mom in the doctor's office after being diagnosed with autism a few months earlier. It devastated the world, us an stole my son's innocence and trust in the world.

                     My Life Experience that needs to be told

The life we live is based on so many factors and influences that shape us and help form our views, opinions and approach to how we live our life and how we conduct ourselves.

I find writing is a very important outlet and it helps me stay focused and directed in my life and it helps me to realize what is most important. Having a son on the autistic spectrum I try to always be there to help him and guide him properly. It seems that sometimes we get caught up in our busy lives that we on occasion lose sight of our true priorities. Having a special needs son does require a great deal of empathy and sensitivity on my part. It also requires a lot of patience and the ability to apportion my time so I am listening to him and providing him with assurance and helping to build his self esteem.

It is my dream that my son will find the inner strength to challenge himself to be his very best and the wisdom to know that he is special and very gifted and that he can do anything he sets his mind to. All those special times spent with very special people in his life hopefully will help him realize how much he is loved and cared for and that he is always our number one priority.

It is my sincere hope that I will always have the privilege of being there for my son and that he will always know that he can count on my wife and I throughout his life.

It is my wish that my son will grow up and have every opportunity he deserves and that he will always know he has great potential and ability and can live a life of great promise and wonder. I want my son to know he does not have to feel alone and different. I want him to realize how great a friend he can be and how very special he truly is.

I pray for my son that things will get a little bit easier for him each and everyday and that he should never get discouraged. He should know that he has us in his life and that we will always be by his side.

A dream, A hope, A wish, A prayer, A life and Autism

It is very important in our lives to dream as young children and to always be encouraged by our parents to reach for the stars in all that we do. When we are kids we are constantly evolving and growing and we are always learning and developing throughout our youth. The time in the life of a young child is very special and it should be filled with hope, optimism, encouragement, enthusiasm, wishful thinking and prayers to God for our child's good health, happiness and a life filled with promise, hope, dreams, vision and self confidence.

It is every parent's hope that their child is healthy and able to develop naturally and adapt to the typical changes that children encounter as they grow. We all are grateful for being blessed with a child in our life and we always want the best for them. If a child is born with autism or some form of disability it means that child will have some challenges ahead in their life but they should have the same dreams and hopes that every child needs to have in their life. My son is autistic and he has challenges that we are trying to help him deal with. At times it seems he will have his share of difficulties and periods of isolation. I only wish that he could realize when he struggles that he has the love and support of his mom and dad and he has many in his corner working to help him.

For many people Autism is not really understood and from outward appearance for the typical person raised in a typical community very difficult to assess. There are many autistic children who from first impression seem normal in ways so when they seem to react out in an inappropriate way to the dismay of others it seems they are defiant and unruly. This for most autistic kids is the furthest from the truth and it seems the parents are thought of as not being able to discipline their children. The reality is that the parents will do anything to help their autistic child and they put so much time, effort and compassion into raising their special child so they can hopefully fit in and have lesser outbursts and meltdowns. It is not easy raising an autistic child and for most families it tests their very limits of patience and endurance and adds a great deal of stress and financial pressure on the family. It is very important to accept the situation and work together with family and all in the support network to help that autistic child find their way in the world.

To an autistic child the world can be a very scary and intimidating place and they would rather live in their little place that is safe and free from confrontation. Autistic children tend to have social difficulties and feel that they can not fit in unfortunately. It takes very committed family and professionals to help address these children with their thoughts and insecurities and help them through these social obstacles.

It is our dreams, hopes, wishes and prayers that help us through these challenging times and give us the insight and knowledge that will help us find the dedication we need to get our autistic child on the right path in their life so they can have the same chances and opportunities that all children deserve in their life.

The one thing I have learned about raising an autistic child is that my sense of life and purpose evolves around my son and everything I do or plan to do is for helping him become better and more self confident. Autistic children do tend to suffer from anxiety and have many challenges and it sometimes can be emotionally very trying in their life and the parent's as well. As a parent I strongly urge you to never give up on your child and to always show compassion and hold on to hope and provide love, support and encouragement. There is nothing like seeing an autistic child blossom and come into their own after realizing the struggles they encounter.

To see an autistic child smile and hear them acknowledge that they feel loved and accepted and to truly help them find something that challenges them and gives them self confidence is the best gift we can ever experience in our life as parents.

The many ups and downs we will encounter as parents raising our children is all worth it if we can set the standard for them so they will benefit and grow and become happy, well balanced, confident and caring young adults ready to take on life's challenges and have dreams, hopes, wishes and vision. I pray everyday for my son to have a wonderful life with Autism.

Dedicated to my son who inspires me everyday.

Edward D. Iannielli III
aka Emily Iannielli

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