Hi! My name is Emily and I am a male to female transgender and the sad reality was I knew since the age of 4 but I had no one to reach out to so it was a very painful, lonely and isolated life I lived. Despite my inner struggle and torment of wanting to live and dress as a girl somehow I managed because I had the love and support of my family but I could never tell them or anyone for that matter since I was so afraid of being laughed at and being ostracized so I hid behind the image of a very shy but very sweet boy who had to grow into a man who was overcompensating and was wearing dresses underneath his suits. It was painful I could not be true to who I was. I tried desperately to do my best. I studied Mechanical Engineering in dedication to my Dad who was a proud itonworker and I also studied accounting to have a good combination of technical and business. Then I started working and eventually married and we welcomed our baby boy into the world. Sadly he is autistic and we are trying to do all we can to help him. In the wake of all my worries and my need to transition from male to female at 52 I finally succumbed to my depression and had a breakdown. In a sense it was the best thing to happen because now I can advocate for my son, I am now under psychiatric care, I am on disability because I can not work and I am transitioning under the medical care at Callen Lorde where I started HRT and living 24/7 as Emily. Now my aims are directed to my son who truly needs me to help him. I love him with all my heart and soul and will always be his "dad" even as Emily, a very sweet and caring "young" woman who loves being a "girl" as she knew as a 4 year old.